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What do you do when someone likes/loves you - but you cannot return the feelings?

This situation is never fun. You never feel good, unless you are cold-hearted… in that case this blog won’t help you (no offence player’s, maneaters, ect. Do your thing). 

OPTION 1- If you are brave - have the Confrontation. By this, I mean FACE the situation, don’t facebook it (or text…. no no no!). This confrontation will be strange, awkward, and most likely highly emotional, so make it as sincere and easy as possible for yourself. I recommend this option if you are good with your words because it can be a bit tricky!

• Ask him or her out for a walk, a coffee, ect - just make sure when you deliver your speech, you are away from the public eye.
• Make sure you are not far away to the other persons home - chances are they MAY not want you to escort them home afterwards. 
• BE NICE! Plan ahead, be empathetic! If this were you, what would make you really upset? “Listen, I just want you to know that I don’t like you the way you think I do” VS “I want you to know that I really enjoy having you around, you’re amazing, I just want you to know I’m not looking for a relationship”. The language you use goes a LONG way. If she/he gets mad after you put it as nicely as you could, you tried your best, don’t be hard on yourself.
• DO NOT BEAT AROUND THE BUSH. This is probably the WORST thing you could do to the other person. I know this, I have done it, DON’T MAKE MY MISTAKES. If you don’t like them, make it clear. Example, ” I really enjoy having you around, your amazing, I’m just not looking for a relationship at the moment” - they may take this as I hint that there could be a chance down the road. Another example ” I’m just really busy right now, I hardly have any free time, I would never get to see you” - this can give off the feel that you do, in fact, like them to spite the fact that your busy. This could also cause the other person to cling onto hope regardless. Say what you need to say, tell the truth* - you do not want anything with this person.
• TELL THE TRUTH* if its appropriate. Don’t BREAK the persons heart and trample on their self esteem as well! If you aren’t attracted to them physically - maybe you could keep that part to yourself. You’re interested in someone who is more attractive? Again, lets not abuse this persons feelings, try to leave them without too many mental bumps and bruises. 

OPTION 2 - If you are shy. Be honest with yourself, to spite you’re good intensions, you have no idea if you can tell this person how you really feel. I always recommend the confrontation - but these are suggestions if you truly cannot do it.

LET IT DIE. This can be effective, yet really slow. By this I mean slowly stop responding to their messages, statuses, texts, phone calls, ect. If you see this person on a regular basis, be nice - but do not pay them too much attention. Still converse with this person, but do not throw in any mixed signals. This person is GOING TO GET IRRITATED. Be prepared, don’t say I didn’t warn you! You’re going to get a lot of aggressive/passive aggressive statements and questions. “Why are you ignoring me?” “Did I do something wrong?” “You don’t care about me, do you?” and things of that nature. The responses to these questions are difficult, don’t beat around the bush more than you already are. “I’m busy, I’ll msg you back later” ….. but don’t message them back. 

At this point, two things will happen - they will slowly give up, or they will continue to get angry at you/try to get your attention. Them slowly giving up WAS the goal of this option, but if this does not work, resort to option 1, TRY! OR… not recommended, but there is option 3.

OPTION 3 - If all else fails…. and if this person is crazy or a stage 5 clinger. Shun them. This is will DAMN hard if you see them on a daily basis. Ignore all texts, messages, and any attempt to get your attention. They will get the hint after a period of time…. or they are mentally ill… get a restraining order. This option is quite mean, only do it if you want NOTHING to do with this person. If you need to, be assertive (while maintaining your maturity, be the better person) ONLY if they are doing something interrupt your current happiness, like interfering with your relationships with other. 

Do not feel bad, as long as you handled this situation with the best intensions - you DID your best. These situations are always, to a certain degree, messy. If they are mad at you afterwards, they will get over it! If they don’t, they are the ones missing out.

Please don’t play with people’s hearts, its never nice. Also, Karma is a bitch and it WILL get you back. 

XX